... for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God... Romans 3:23
I spent a day in Biloxi, Mississippi last week. I had driven through Biloxi quickly a few months ago, but this was my first opportunity to spend time really looking around at the city and the state of things there. What I saw troubled me - but it was not the emptiness or devastation that troubled me; rather, it was the fact that, for this first-time visitor, the destruction I saw around me seemed eerily normal, as if it belonged there. I found myself celebrating signs of survival while not fully comprehending the breadth of what was ruined. With no frame of reference for what was before, I couldn't begin to recognize what was missing now.
"We have forgotten how hard we fell."
These words were part of a sermon I heard a few weeks ago. The pastor was talking about our sinfulness, and how flawed and weak we as humans truly are - a reality we forget all too easily.
These words came back to me as we drove around Biloxi. I realized that in many ways, my experience of Biloxi that day was much like our experience of the world as Christians. Sin seems eerily normal. We find ourselves celebrating signs of human goodness while not fully comprehending the breadth of evil. With no frame of reference for what Adam and Eve knew in the garden, we can't begin to recognize - much less mourn - what is missing now.
As I spend time in Biloxi this summer and get to know the people who have been laboring there for the past two years, I have no doubt that I will gain a better picture of what Biloxi is today, what it used to be, and what it will take to get back to that.
As I spend time with the Lord and get to know more of his character and his heart, I have no doubt that I will gain a better picture of his glory, how far I have fallen from it, and what it will take to be able to behold his glory once again. Though I know the answer on some level - that nothing I do could bridge that gap, I want to ponder this, to live with a healthy reverence for how far I've fallen, and how great my God is.
Sunday, April 29, 2007
Finishing (Take Two)
Yesterday dawned cloudy and drizzly in Nashville, Tennessee, but by the time all 30,000 runners and walkers had crossed the starting line, the clouds had all but disappeared. The sun was shining, bands were playing, and folks were cheering. What a thrill it was to be running the Country Music Half-Marathon for the second time!
As you may recall, last Spring my friends and co-workers Mayme and Benj convinced me to join them in running this race. What started as a completely ridiculous idea turned into something I loved. Hence, when Mayme suggested we do it again, it didn't take long for me to say yes. I even managed to talk my dad into running it with me, and he suggested my cousin Sam join us as well.
This training season was harder than my first. Some days, life and work took over. Other days, it was laziness that won out. Nonetheless, Saturdays still found me on long runs, most weekday mornings found me up early, and I said good-bye to soda for eight weeks. This year's training and race brought some other new and exciting things as well. Some highlights:
- Learning to embrace (and actually run up) the myriad hills in my neighborhood.
- The addition of Spandex to my running wardrobe.
- Subscribing to Runner's World magazine (talk about good motivation!).
- Discovering that running with people is actually rather enjoyable.
- Doing training runs in five states, including running in Louisiana humidity, unexpected early Spring heat in Alabama, and doing eight miles on a cold, rainy Saturday morning in Minnesota.
- Seeing my cousin Sam for the first time in more than ten years, and fully appreciating the fact that he ran the race in a mohawk.
- Watching my dad get into running, doing training runs with him when I was home, and running more than ten miles of the race with him by my side.
- After a rather anonymous run last year, we had fans for this year's race! It was great to have familiar faces cheering us on.
- I finished this year's race ELEVEN MINUTES FASTER than last year's, and can confidently say I could not have done any better or given any more. Now I know what people mean when they say they "left it all on the course".
In some ways, doing this the second time around made the process a little less thought-provoking. It was a little more routine, and a little less inspirational. At the same time, God never let me get too far without reminding me that every step I took was a gift from Him, and that it was only by his grace that I could train for and run this race. He also gave me a very gracious gift in the motivation department - something that gave me a reason to keep going during the weeks when I wanted to put away my running shoes.
What was this motivation? A magazine article. No, not an article from Runner's World. Rather, it was a piece I wrote for the new magazine Reverb, which YouthWorks will be distributing to all its participants this summer. The article is about running, and how God has so unexpectedly made it a part of my life. When I wrote the article in January, I wrote, "now I have one half-marathon under my belt, and I am training for a second." However, when the article came back from the editor, it had been changed to reflect the fact that the article would be published this summer, after the race. Now it read, "I have two half-marathons under my belt." I read those words in February, struck by the realization that 37,000 YouthWorks participants would be reading those same words this summer. They would know me as a two-time half-marathon runner. If I quit training, those words would be a lie!
"Write the vision; make it plain on tablets, so he may run who reads it. For still the vision awaits the appointed time; it hastens to the end - it will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay." Habakkuk 2:2-3
What if all of my goals were made so public? What if I wrote all of them down for all to see, and wrote them as if they had already been accomplished? Talk about motivation. Talk about accountability. Talk about a vision that hastens to the end.
As you may recall, last Spring my friends and co-workers Mayme and Benj convinced me to join them in running this race. What started as a completely ridiculous idea turned into something I loved. Hence, when Mayme suggested we do it again, it didn't take long for me to say yes. I even managed to talk my dad into running it with me, and he suggested my cousin Sam join us as well.
This training season was harder than my first. Some days, life and work took over. Other days, it was laziness that won out. Nonetheless, Saturdays still found me on long runs, most weekday mornings found me up early, and I said good-bye to soda for eight weeks. This year's training and race brought some other new and exciting things as well. Some highlights:
- Learning to embrace (and actually run up) the myriad hills in my neighborhood.
- The addition of Spandex to my running wardrobe.
- Subscribing to Runner's World magazine (talk about good motivation!).
- Discovering that running with people is actually rather enjoyable.
- Doing training runs in five states, including running in Louisiana humidity, unexpected early Spring heat in Alabama, and doing eight miles on a cold, rainy Saturday morning in Minnesota.
- Seeing my cousin Sam for the first time in more than ten years, and fully appreciating the fact that he ran the race in a mohawk.
- Watching my dad get into running, doing training runs with him when I was home, and running more than ten miles of the race with him by my side.
- After a rather anonymous run last year, we had fans for this year's race! It was great to have familiar faces cheering us on.
- I finished this year's race ELEVEN MINUTES FASTER than last year's, and can confidently say I could not have done any better or given any more. Now I know what people mean when they say they "left it all on the course".
In some ways, doing this the second time around made the process a little less thought-provoking. It was a little more routine, and a little less inspirational. At the same time, God never let me get too far without reminding me that every step I took was a gift from Him, and that it was only by his grace that I could train for and run this race. He also gave me a very gracious gift in the motivation department - something that gave me a reason to keep going during the weeks when I wanted to put away my running shoes.
What was this motivation? A magazine article. No, not an article from Runner's World. Rather, it was a piece I wrote for the new magazine Reverb, which YouthWorks will be distributing to all its participants this summer. The article is about running, and how God has so unexpectedly made it a part of my life. When I wrote the article in January, I wrote, "now I have one half-marathon under my belt, and I am training for a second." However, when the article came back from the editor, it had been changed to reflect the fact that the article would be published this summer, after the race. Now it read, "I have two half-marathons under my belt." I read those words in February, struck by the realization that 37,000 YouthWorks participants would be reading those same words this summer. They would know me as a two-time half-marathon runner. If I quit training, those words would be a lie!
"Write the vision; make it plain on tablets, so he may run who reads it. For still the vision awaits the appointed time; it hastens to the end - it will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay." Habakkuk 2:2-3
What if all of my goals were made so public? What if I wrote all of them down for all to see, and wrote them as if they had already been accomplished? Talk about motivation. Talk about accountability. Talk about a vision that hastens to the end.
There's no doubt we'll be back in Nashville again next April. Post a comment here if you'd like to join us.
Thursday, April 19, 2007
I would but can't...
I once promised to post hymn lyrics here more often. The words of one hymn have been on my mind and lips for weeks now - perhaps they will resonate with you as well.
Help My Unbelief
Words by John Newton*
I know the Lord is nigh,
And would but cannot pray,
For Satan meets me when I try,
And frights my soul away.
And frights my soul away.
I would but can't repent,
Though I endeavor oft,
This stony heart can ne'er relent
Till Jesus makes it soft.
Till Jesus makes it soft.
Help my unbelief. Help my unbelief.
Help my unbelief.
My help must come from Thee.
I would but cannot love,
Though wooed by love divine;
No arguments have power to move
A soul as base as mine.
A soul so base as mine.
I would but cannot rest,
in God's most holy will;
I know what he appoints is best,
And murmur at it still.
I murmur at it still.
Help my unbelief. Help my unbelief.
Help my unbelief.
My help must come from Thee.
* The author of this hymn, John Newton, is most famous for writing "Amazing Grace." However, after studying a bit about his life in recent weeks, I believe that he should be known for much more than that. Once a slave trader, Christ grabbed a hold of him and completely transformed his life. He became a pastor and was a friend and mentor to many well-known figures of his day, including William Wilberforce, the British parliamentarian who almost single-handedly ended the British slave trade. The lives of both of these men are worth studying and emulating.
Help My Unbelief
Words by John Newton*
I know the Lord is nigh,
And would but cannot pray,
For Satan meets me when I try,
And frights my soul away.
And frights my soul away.
I would but can't repent,
Though I endeavor oft,
This stony heart can ne'er relent
Till Jesus makes it soft.
Till Jesus makes it soft.
Help my unbelief. Help my unbelief.
Help my unbelief.
My help must come from Thee.
I would but cannot love,
Though wooed by love divine;
No arguments have power to move
A soul as base as mine.
A soul so base as mine.
I would but cannot rest,
in God's most holy will;
I know what he appoints is best,
And murmur at it still.
I murmur at it still.
Help my unbelief. Help my unbelief.
Help my unbelief.
My help must come from Thee.
* The author of this hymn, John Newton, is most famous for writing "Amazing Grace." However, after studying a bit about his life in recent weeks, I believe that he should be known for much more than that. Once a slave trader, Christ grabbed a hold of him and completely transformed his life. He became a pastor and was a friend and mentor to many well-known figures of his day, including William Wilberforce, the British parliamentarian who almost single-handedly ended the British slave trade. The lives of both of these men are worth studying and emulating.
Saturday, April 07, 2007
Envying Simon
Last night I watched The Passion of the Christ for the first time. My friend Christy was seeing it for the third time, and she told us that each time she watches the film, something new grabs her attention. I imagine this is true for anyone who has seen The Passion multiple times. On this first viewing, one man stood out to me more than any other: Simon of Cyrene.
Simon was called out of the crowd to help Jesus, already badly beaten and exhausted, carry the cross on which he would die. The movie portrayed Simon and Jesus walking side by side, bearing the weight of the cross together. At times, Jesus clung to Simon for support. As they neared Golgotha, even Simon was stumbling. There were a few moments in which Jesus and Simon locked eyes -- these were the moments that captivated me. No one could ever truly know the depth of Jesus' suffering on that day, none could imagine the weight of the burden he bore on his bloodied back. However, if there was one man who knew even a hint of that inconceivable pain, it was Simon. In the instances when their eyes met, I saw an intimacy with Jesus that made me covet Simon's position.
Paul speaks of a longing for that kind of cross-bearing fellowship with Christ:
"For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him... that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead." Philippians 3:8-10
Paul understood that in order to know Christ in life one must know him in his death. His ardent desire for this knowledge should not strike us as extreme or fanatical - he was merely heeding the words of the Savior:
"'If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it.'" Luke 9:23-24
I doubt that Simon ever forgot the feeling of the rough wood, the splinters on his arms, the heaviness on his shoulders, the burning in his legs as he climbed the hill, the blood that stained his robe as Jesus brushed against him. Most of us will never be afforded such a tangible experience of Christ's sufferings. I am certain, though, that not a day goes by when we are not given a chance to deny ourselves, to experience a taste of earthly loss, pain, or struggle.
May anything that is lost be a reminder of all that He sacrificed.
May any pain we feel speak to us of the brutal death He suffered for our sake.
May our struggles give us opportunity to emulate a Son who desperately pleaded with his Father, and ultimately accepted his will.
May the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus cause us to count all else as worthless.
May we share his sufferings, become like him in his death, and know the power of his resurrection.
Simon was called out of the crowd to help Jesus, already badly beaten and exhausted, carry the cross on which he would die. The movie portrayed Simon and Jesus walking side by side, bearing the weight of the cross together. At times, Jesus clung to Simon for support. As they neared Golgotha, even Simon was stumbling. There were a few moments in which Jesus and Simon locked eyes -- these were the moments that captivated me. No one could ever truly know the depth of Jesus' suffering on that day, none could imagine the weight of the burden he bore on his bloodied back. However, if there was one man who knew even a hint of that inconceivable pain, it was Simon. In the instances when their eyes met, I saw an intimacy with Jesus that made me covet Simon's position.
Paul speaks of a longing for that kind of cross-bearing fellowship with Christ:
"For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him... that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead." Philippians 3:8-10
Paul understood that in order to know Christ in life one must know him in his death. His ardent desire for this knowledge should not strike us as extreme or fanatical - he was merely heeding the words of the Savior:
"'If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it.'" Luke 9:23-24
I doubt that Simon ever forgot the feeling of the rough wood, the splinters on his arms, the heaviness on his shoulders, the burning in his legs as he climbed the hill, the blood that stained his robe as Jesus brushed against him. Most of us will never be afforded such a tangible experience of Christ's sufferings. I am certain, though, that not a day goes by when we are not given a chance to deny ourselves, to experience a taste of earthly loss, pain, or struggle.
May anything that is lost be a reminder of all that He sacrificed.
May any pain we feel speak to us of the brutal death He suffered for our sake.
May our struggles give us opportunity to emulate a Son who desperately pleaded with his Father, and ultimately accepted his will.
May the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus cause us to count all else as worthless.
May we share his sufferings, become like him in his death, and know the power of his resurrection.
Friday, April 06, 2007
The sum of my dependence
Part of my job as an Area Director for YouthWorks is to secure summer housing for our groups in several of our communities. Last year, this happened fairly easily - housing was already established at most of my sites, and at the one site for which I had to find housing, the first church I visited turned out to be the place God had in mind for us. This year, the pursuit of housing has consumed much more of my time and energy. Lately, my focus has been on finding housing in New Orleans. Though the process of searching for housing can be discouraging and frustrating at times, I have been incredibly grateful for it, especially as I have been challenged in my faith along the way.
After a particularly discouraging meeting recently, I grabbed an iced chai at a coffee shop, picked up my cell phone and kicked off a giant pity party. My boss was the only invitee, much to his chagrin. As I vented my frustrations in between his valiant attempts to bring me back to reality, I found myself saying, "I worry that I am saying the wrong things, or failing to say the right things, or that maybe if someone else were walking into the same meeting, they would walk out with housing." Before that entire statement could even leave my mouth I realized what I was saying: this whole thing depends on me.
"The God who made the world and everything in it... [is not] served by human hands, as though he needed anything, since he himself gives to all mankind life and breath and everything." Acts 17:24-25
I depend on Him for life and breath and everything - including housing; it's not the other way around. The words "it's not about me" resounded in my head the next day as I drove around New Orleans, looking for buildings, knocking on doors, making phone calls, asking "Could you host us this summer?" As the day went on, God showed me just how much this process is not about me. Consider the elements that go into finding a YouthWorks housing site:
After a particularly discouraging meeting recently, I grabbed an iced chai at a coffee shop, picked up my cell phone and kicked off a giant pity party. My boss was the only invitee, much to his chagrin. As I vented my frustrations in between his valiant attempts to bring me back to reality, I found myself saying, "I worry that I am saying the wrong things, or failing to say the right things, or that maybe if someone else were walking into the same meeting, they would walk out with housing." Before that entire statement could even leave my mouth I realized what I was saying: this whole thing depends on me.
"The God who made the world and everything in it... [is not] served by human hands, as though he needed anything, since he himself gives to all mankind life and breath and everything." Acts 17:24-25
I depend on Him for life and breath and everything - including housing; it's not the other way around. The words "it's not about me" resounded in my head the next day as I drove around New Orleans, looking for buildings, knocking on doors, making phone calls, asking "Could you host us this summer?" As the day went on, God showed me just how much this process is not about me. Consider the elements that go into finding a YouthWorks housing site:
- There must be a BUILDING - a church or a school or some other suitable facility. This building is ultimately provided by God, through the wise stewardship of a congregation or community's resources. In New Orleans, the building that we are looking for was either mercifully spared by the destruction of Hurricane Katrina or graciously rebuilt through God's abundant provision of finances and labor.
- The TIMING must be right. This is everything from the timing of who happens to answer the phone or the door when I call to the timing of the community's plans and needs for their building. Only God, who sees the big picture, could orchestrate time and plans to open the door for us.
- There must be PEOPLE who catch the vision of what God could do in their community through YouthWorks. Often times, the first person I encounter at a church or school is a secretary (usually a woman). She might be skeptical, she might be quick to protect the time and interest of her supervisor (the classically curt "Do you have an appointment?"), or she might just light up a bit as she takes my information or walks me to their office. Then there is the pastor or principal or director - some will listen but not quite "get it," some will be cautiously intrigued and want to hear more, others will be enthusiastic from the moment I walk in the door. There are usually others involved in the decision to host YouthWorks - congregations or boards or other "higher-ups". It is God who directs all of these hearts and minds - hardening some and opening others, instilling in a precious few the faith that it takes to say "Yes!", giving them the strength and courage to trust him with their building, time, and resources. I recognize that those who catch the vision and take this step of faith often have a certain depth of faith and understanding that the Lord has been cultivating for years (and using for many purposes other than just YouthWorks partnerships).
- There is also a certain TENACITY which enables us to keep knocking on doors and asking the question. This is not just fueled by a paycheck. Those of us who have been around YouthWorks for a while know that we have never gone without housing. Our faith is bolstered and our diligence enabled by evidence of His gracious provision in the past - this gives us greater confidence for His future provision.
I have likely omitted a few elements from this list, but when I consider the sum of our dependence on Him, I am struck by the audacity it takes to think that a few words spoken or withheld could derail the Lord's inscrutable plan.
Lord, thank you for putting me back in my place. May you be magnified and glorified through this process.
"Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways! 'For who has known the mind of the Lord, or who has been his counselor? Or who has given a gift to him that he might be repaid?' For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be glory forever. Amen!" Romans 11:33-36
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