The sum of my dependence

Part of my job as an Area Director for YouthWorks is to secure summer housing for our groups in several of our communities. Last year, this happened fairly easily - housing was already established at most of my sites, and at the one site for which I had to find housing, the first church I visited turned out to be the place God had in mind for us. This year, the pursuit of housing has consumed much more of my time and energy. Lately, my focus has been on finding housing in New Orleans. Though the process of searching for housing can be discouraging and frustrating at times, I have been incredibly grateful for it, especially as I have been challenged in my faith along the way.

After a particularly discouraging meeting recently, I grabbed an iced chai at a coffee shop, picked up my cell phone and kicked off a giant pity party. My boss was the only invitee, much to his chagrin. As I vented my frustrations in between his valiant attempts to bring me back to reality, I found myself saying, "I worry that I am saying the wrong things, or failing to say the right things, or that maybe if someone else were walking into the same meeting, they would walk out with housing." Before that entire statement could even leave my mouth I realized what I was saying: this whole thing depends on me.

"The God who made the world and everything in it... [is not] served by human hands, as though he needed anything, since he himself gives to all mankind life and breath and everything." Acts 17:24-25

I depend on Him for life and breath and everything - including housing; it's not the other way around. The words "it's not about me" resounded in my head the next day as I drove around New Orleans, looking for buildings, knocking on doors, making phone calls, asking "Could you host us this summer?" As the day went on, God showed me just how much this process is not about me. Consider the elements that go into finding a YouthWorks housing site:

• There must be a BUILDING - a church or a school or some other suitable facility. This building is ultimately provided by God, through the wise stewardship of a congregation or community's resources. In New Orleans, the building that we are looking for was either mercifully spared by the destruction of Hurricane Katrina or graciously rebuilt through God's abundant provision of finances and labor.
• The TIMING must be right. This is everything from the timing of who happens to answer the phone or the door when I call to the timing of the community's plans and needs for their building. Only God, who sees the big picture, could orchestrate time and plans to open the door for us.
• There must be PEOPLE who catch the vision of what God could do in their community through YouthWorks. Often times, the first person I encounter at a church or school is a secretary (usually a woman). She might be skeptical, she might be quick to protect the time and interest of her supervisor (the classically curt "Do you have an appointment?"), or she might just light up a bit as she takes my information or walks me to their office. Then there is the pastor or principal or director - some will listen but not quite "get it," some will be cautiously intrigued and want to hear more, others will be enthusiastic from the moment I walk in the door. There are usually others involved in the decision to host YouthWorks - congregations or boards or other "higher-ups". It is God who directs all of these hearts and minds - hardening some and opening others, instilling in a precious few the faith that it takes to say "Yes!", giving them the strength and courage to trust him with their building, time, and resources. I recognize that those who catch the vision and take this step of faith often have a certain depth of faith and understanding that the Lord has been cultivating for years (and using for many purposes other than just YouthWorks partnerships).
• There is also a certain TENACITY which enables us to keep knocking on doors and asking the question. This is not just fueled by a paycheck. Those of us who have been around YouthWorks for a while know that we have never gone without housing. Our faith is bolstered and our diligence enabled by evidence of His gracious provision in the past - this gives us greater confidence for His future provision.

I have likely omitted a few elements from this list, but when I consider the sum of our dependence on Him, I am struck by the audacity it takes to think that a few words spoken or withheld could derail the Lord's inscrutable plan.

Lord, thank you for putting me back in my place. May you be magnified and glorified through this process.

"Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways! 'For who has known the mind of the Lord, or who has been his counselor? Or who has given a gift to him that he might be repaid?' For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be glory forever. Amen!" Romans 11:33-36